Prop 8. Really, California?

Posted in Politics with tags , , , , , , on November 8, 2008 by youwilldiealone

Okay, so you’re telling me Britney Spears can marry her buddy Jason Alexander as a goof and that is considered sacred.  However, George Takei marries his partner of 20 some years and that is not.

You’re gonna roll that back?

The divorce rate is fucking high.  That’s sacred?

Two people who love each other cannot get married if they have the same genitalia?

Fuck you.  It’s a simple as that.  FUCK YOU.

Can anyone tell…? (debate notes)

Posted in Crap Celebs with tags , , , , on October 3, 2008 by youwilldiealone

…is Palin wearing kneepads?

Okay, if McCain is such a maverick why is he not independent?

Why does CNN have what is essentially an unrelated stat running along the bottom of the screen?

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Showbox, Seattle

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2008 by youwilldiealone

Last night I finally got to see “Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds” live.  Fourteen years ago, I discovered them paging through this guide to alternative music my friend had which we treated like the bible.  There wasn’t a Wikipedia, Napster, BitTorrent or any way to find out about anything that wasn’t “Brooks and Dunn” or “Metallica” in the cold Midwest, so we had to read about and then pretty much buy an album in order to listen to it.  It was a gamble, but a gamble my job slinging burgers could support. 

 

I had read about this band called “Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds” and it sounded interesting.  Bluesy, savage rock with a lead singer who not only wrote lyrics but was an skilled storyteller.  Being a fan of film and theatrics, I bought “Let Love In”.  From then on, it was an avalanche.  I picked up anything I could by them and researched more.  This lead to “The Birthday Party”, “Magazine”, “Visage”, “Einstruzende Neubauten” (how the hell do you make on umlaut in HTML again?), “The Dirty Three”, Mick Harvey’s solo work, and countless films, soundtracks, and books.  To this day, a page I tore out of a Rolling Stone is hanging on my bedroom wall back home of an Anton Corbjin photograph of Cave.

 

When I heard they were playing the Showbox, I ran to the computer to get tickets but they were almost instantly sold out.  Fuck.  Then another show was announced but sold out too quick for me to snag a ticket. Fuck.  A few weeks later my friend Michel sends me an e-mail asking if I want to go to see “Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds” because she has an extra ticket.  FUCK YES!

 

September 24th, 2008 arrived.  Michel and I met at Hooverville, which I could dedicate an entire other entry to, and then walked over to the Showbox.  Since Michel is short she likes to be up front,  I have no problem with this so as the doors open we rushed to the rail.  The opening band “Earth” did their droning stoner-rock thing deftly then took their leave.   Before I knew it out walks Conway Savage, Jim Sclavunos, Martyn Casey, Thomas Wydler, Warren Ellis, and Mick Harvey each setting up at their stations.  They begin. “Night of the Lotus Eaters”. Out stomps Cave, thrashing and kicking. A visual analog of the music.

 

I’d describe each song, but I’ll leave that to someone else.  Pretty much every song I really wanted to hear, Cave and the Seeds supplied.  I was hoping for “The Curse of Millhaven” but what I got instead I will remember until I’m dead and hopefully after.

 

They began “Papa Won’t Leave You, Henry” and Cave began strutting at the edge of the stage.  He came over near where Michel and I were standing.  Suddenly, I feel like I’ve missed the last 5 or 10 seconds of my life and Nick Cave is towering over me jutting the microphone into my mug.  It might as well have been his dick cause I had no idea what to do with it.  Michel said I just stood there, slack-jawed, eyes gaped.  I later realized I was starstruck for the first time in my entire life. 

 

Cave just stared a hole in me, drew back the mic.  With a look that said, “Lemme show you how it’s done boy…” 

 

He grunted an animalistic, “Uhhh!” and quickly stabbed the mic back into my face. 

 

I let out a weak, “Uhh…” 

 

He withdrew the mic and again, with but with more emphasis, “UHHH!”

 

I let out a stronger, “UHHH!”

 

He pulled back, “UHHHHHHHH!”

 

I belted, “AHHHHH!”

 

Cave smiled a small smile and went back to Henry.

 

I never expected anything like that to happen.  Instead of picking one of the numerous attractive ladies in the front row (some of which I found would sooner use me as some kind of watchtower to see this pelvic thrusting Australian rock god) he gave the paunchy, nerd a chance.

 

The female half of the couple to my left, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Great job!” 

 

It was kind of her to lie.

 

So now I’ve sang (or at least grunted) with Nick Cave and made Patton Oswalt laugh.

 

If I marry (or at least awkwardly make out with) Sarah Silverman, I can pretty much die fulfilled. 

 

 

Uwe Boll Planning to make a Movie Based on a Video Game Based on a Movie He Directed?

Posted in Crap Celebs, Video Game Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2008 by youwilldiealone

 

Above is the trailer for “1968 Tunnel Rats” (it might be “Tunnel Rats 1968” but I’m too lazy to look it up) which is a video game based on a movie by Uwe Boll who is based on someone who doesn’t have talent.  I take that back, he must be doing something right.  To garner as much disdain and anger within countless messageboards and bar conversations means you have achieved some form of infamy.  Anyway, it seems Dr. Boll has added a twist to his “make a movie based on a video game ways” by making a video game based on his movie.

I wasn’t expecting much but the trailer managed to make my jaw drop.  Not in the, “Holy shit! This looks amazing!” way, but in the, “Seriously…” way.

The first third of the trailer made me think you were playing as a renegade sigmoidoscope blasting polyps in a diseased rectum.  As the trailer progressed however, it was clear this was some kind of first person shooter set during war or a bad company outing.  Not quite sure.

Either way, much like Boll’s films this trailer is laughably bad.  It’s mostly gameplay footage which might have been impressive had it been made in 1997.  Interspersed with the footage are important facts about soldiers like, “If you were a soldier in 1968, they would have prepared you to fight in tunnels.”  As we all know, this was indeed important during the 1968 Perth Amboy Tunnel Invasions.

My favorite part of the trailer has to be the final bit where we are told that, “There are things out there nobody prepared you for…” and the ensuing thing we are not prepared to witness.  Apparently your training does not include watching helicopters crash while you are in a position out of harm’s way.  Part of me wonders if that was supposed to be a metaphor for Boll’s career or the developers have a great sense of humor.

The only way this could be great is if after both the movie comes out and after the game comes out, Boll directs a movie based on the game.  Time would then fold upon itself and we’d basically hit the universe’s reset button.

This could be more powerful than the Hadron Collider…

 

 

 

Okay, I’ve waited too long…

Posted in Crap Celebs with tags , on August 18, 2008 by youwilldiealone

Who is the ugly girl in the Boost mobile commercial with Jermaine Dupri at the end?

The Truth About Corn Dogs…

Posted in Doctored Images with tags , , , , , , , on June 25, 2008 by youwilldiealone

So sayeth the “Glowing Child”

It has begun…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2008 by youwilldiealone

as long as I get off my ass.